it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
