I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize