Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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