Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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