somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
