I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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