I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
