I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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