Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Holy shit dude........stairs
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
