i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
