Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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