I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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