I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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