I want to make a zoo with you.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize