The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
