That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
there is puke in my bra ... again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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