he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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