How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
