you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
