she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
