Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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