Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
