girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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