I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
