being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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