i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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