apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
