Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize