I think scott just propositioned me for sex
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
