My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize