Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
