i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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