I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
