how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
