he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dick very happy bro
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
