New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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