morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
