i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
