She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
