one might say we're banned from that church
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
