Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
