I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize