At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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