Will you blow on my dice?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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