I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
