Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
