you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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