I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
