This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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