hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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