Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize