I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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