My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize