Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
