Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Moan for me like Helen Keller
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
