You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
