Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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