i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
