I just saw a hot homeless man
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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