...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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