it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
