your thong is hanging out like whoa
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
