Christians are straight up FREAKS
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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