I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
