Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
