Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
