Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
